Here we go again. I did write a post recently in which I gave credit to the Bank of Montreal for the pleasure of speaking to a competent individual. Unfortunately, this appears to be a rare and fleeting pleasure as I discovered upon having further bank business.

The challenge presented to the staff at the Bank of Montreal: Make a deposit to my RRSP account using a check from another bank within a half an hour.

I know what you're thinking. How can I expect them to know how to cash a check? How can I expect them to locate my bank account within their computers? How can I expect them to be able to enter the transaction into their computers? After all, they are merely professional bank employees! They only practice processing transactions, cashing checks, and locating information hundreds of times per day; how can I believe they would be able to execute those tasks when I need them?

Turns out that the skeptics are right. My challenge was too hard.

I went in with my PC Financial check and my personal banking card in hand. The teller was available and I engaged her.

"I would like to deposit $12,000 into my RRSP please."

She takes the card and starts with the computer. I tell her it is for my Investorline RRSP account. For those who don't know, Investorline is the brandname for BMO's brokerage. She can't find my account. It turns out that she is looking under "Bill Payment". Seems strange to me, but she explains that Bill Payment is how they contribute to Investorline accounts.

"Ok fine, do a bill payment then."

She shows me the screen and asks me which account it is. Her first guess was "ATCO Utilities".

"No, that's an old electrical bill from Alberta where I used to live before. The Investorline bill is not there."

"Hey, no problem", she assures me. "We'll just add it! What is your account number?"

"I don't know.", I reply. "Look it up in my profile on the bank card I just gave you."

Too bad she can't. That task is far beyond her skills. Don't get me wrong, she did try for about 5 minutes. Then she brought in one of the more senior people, but he couldn't do it either. I asked for an Internet terminal so I could log into my account and retrieve the number for them. I did and we were cooking again. It had only been about 15 minutes so far so there was still hope.

I made out the check and gave it to her. She tapped on the keyboard for another few minutes before she told me she couldn't find my account. I reminded her that I had just gotten her the account number. It turns out that she could not find an account to deposit my check into, which apparently had to be a different account than my Investorline. The deposit had to be staged in an account from which a bill payment could be made. I didn't have an account with BMO that could make bill payments.

Hmm: I don't care about the bill payment. I just want to deposit this check DIRECTLY into the Investorline account.

She had to ask the teller next to her, who came over and tapped with confidence for five more minutes. Then the second teller gave up. Then the first teller called over one of the supervisors, who came over and started strategizing in whispers with the teller. Then the supervisor went to someone's office to obtain more strategic advice. Then they came back with the solution.

"TADA! We will cash your check and make a bill payment from cash!" Problem solved. The teller cashed my check. It took another 5 minutes because she had to go to the safe to count out 120 $100 dollar bills. She really did cash out my check! She counted it multiple times and brought it back to her window, where she wrapped it in an elastic so someone could easily take it back to the safe from whence it came later that day.

She tapped on her keyboard some more and now the grand finale:

"That'll be $1.50 for the bill payment service."

"No.", I said.

"Ok." she said, and she gave me my receipt.

It took about 45 minutes, involved 4 or 5 people, and the physical movement of $12,000 in cold cash. Awesome!